Coming fully alive in sexuality isn’t all about buying new lingerie, learning how to dance erotically, or buying a yoni egg (although these are all powerful tools). The real healing comes in releasing supressed energy in the emotional body, and pain body.
Because SO much life force is spent holding back these emotions we’re avoiding and so much energy is tied up in knots in the pain body. It’s like having 100 holes in your bucket. When you can begin to release suppressed energy and heal the wounds in your nervous system, your erotic life force (aka turn on) comes back alive, because it's not being buried under layers of pain.
6 steps to come fully alive through Tantric emotional alchemy
Step 1 ) Remove the numbing agents. The ways in which you avoid, distract, numb, hide, or chase the polar opposites. For example smoking, substances, emotional eating, scrolling, obsessive thinking, tv etc, or even force yourself into the high emotions like gratitude when it's not authentic.
Step 2 ) Give yourself silence, solitude, and stillness and allow the energies to rise and surface. Notice how the minute they rise you subconsciously want to numb with your favorite vice, and choose to feel the emotion instead - celebrate the liberation that’s happening. It will pass, can you be with it fully now?
Step 3) Tantric alchemy to liberate emotions. Bring breath, sound, movement and expression to the emotions + energy that’s moving. Don’t get caught up in the story, stay in the sensation and emotion. Don’t collapse into the experience. Stay present, and come up for air. Titrate between the pain and then weave in pleasure.
Step 4) Give space for there to be more. There’s always more. Don’t rush this process. Continue to evoke the emotion that’s present for you. Go even deeper into the body part it’s rising from and embody it fully.
Step 5) Resource in safety + pleasure. Come down into your body and resource in presence and pleasure. Breathe deeply into the parts of your body that are open. Stretch into the expanded places. Stroke your skin, rub your hair, massage yourself, breathe yummy oils, wrap yourself in a blanket, light some sage. Allow your nervous to ground. You can say out loud “I am safe, I am loved, I am here.” Let your body know you’re safe to feel this emotion, and there’s pleasure available in it too.
Step 6) Integrate + Imprint. This is a good time to journal and reflect. Notice what was the core emotion you just experienced? And what story or meaning did you initially give to it? Were there any specific memories that rose. Take this time to process and gain clarirty on your experience. It’s in this moment you give new meaning to this emotion and see what it needs.
Journal prompts for integration:
What emotion released today?
How did it feel in my body?
How did I liberate + express this emotion?
What memory rose with this emotion?
What meaning or belief came with this emotion?
What part of me was feeling this emotion? (child, teen etc)
What does this emotion really need to heal?
How can I meet this need?
Suppressed emotions are wanting to surface the most during our premenstrual phase and the first few days of bleeding, because all the mental and physical armor naturally dissovles as the body enters release. And this is also the time we’re more likely to reach for numbing agents and also project our pain + emotions onto others.
If you give yourself the tools and space though, the premoon and bleed can be a mini medicine ceremony every week!
Join my Tao Of The Womb online course to learn more ways to process your emotions and come fully alive through Tantric practices.